by the way. telling people to not use ableist language isn't silencing abuse victims or taking away their language.

narcissist abuse is just emotional abuse but with an ableist coat on it. i don't care if people don't think emotional abuse counts as real abuse, why not advocate for seeing emotional abuse as valid abuse instead? you are just playing into the "emotional abuse isn't real" crowd by saying narcissistic abuse instead.

and if you are advocating for narcissistic abuse to mean abuse at the hands of a narcissist and/or someone with npd(instead of it being a synonym for emotional abuse), then my question is why do we need a word for this? and there is no unique or special way for people with narcissists or pwnpd to abuse someone. because woah! would you look at that? it is just emotional abuse.

we live in a shitty ableist world which will use any excuse to harm those with mental disorders. i don't care if someone has the best intentions, i don't care if someone genuinely doesn't mean to implicate pwnpd when they talk about narcissistic abuse, it will still hurt us, so get over yourself and fucking stop.

and before the "narcissist doesn't equal npd!!" crowd comes in, i don't care about your language games, fuck off. but even if we accept that statement as true, people with npd will still get harmed by such language. npd and narcissism are and will always be linked to eachother. if you talk about the evils of narcissism, people will connect it with npd.

even if we change the name of npd it won't help. dissociative identity disorder is still widely known as multiple personality disorder. antisocial personality disorder is still widely known as socio/psychopathy. why would npd be any different?

(and idk. i think it is kinda shitty to be like "hey let's change the name of a disorder because i am too stubborn to say selfish instead of narcissist!!")

edit: if this wasn't clear, stop saying narcissistic abuse because it hurts pwnpd! you already have plain ol' abuse, emotional abuse, hell, even selfish abuse too! telling someone to stop saying narcissistic abuse isn't silencing anyone from talking about your abuse when you can literally just change one word and be fine! holy shit

Your daily reminder to not put "You SHOULD be reblogging this" in your posts because you're going to trigger somebody's OCD. Especially when it comes to topics such as social justice or politics. Yes, your message is important but guilting people into reblogging it is not just reblog bait, but it can harm somebody mentally.

Frequently even through texts and dm's 🥲

Thanks to the Greens you can now write a submission to a committee inquiry into how the rental crisis is affecting you and your community, provide evidence, and shape the reports that’ll be given to the National Cabinet in September and November to suggest how they can address the rental crisis.

This is super important! The information that YOU give to this inquiry will inform both the state and federal government about just how dire the situation is and help it understand how it needs to do more to fix the rental crisis in Australia.

So share - and don’t forget to click here to submit BY 28 JULY!!!

GOOD NEWS! The deadline for submission has been extended to 1st of September!

SO YOU CAN STILL TELL THE COMMITTEE HOW RENTING SUCKS AND PRESSURE THE GOVERNMENT TO IMPROVE RENTERS’ RIGHTS AND HELP WITH HOUSING!

BAD NEWS - Landlords are currently making up a THIRD of submissions! Which means we need to make sure RENTERS are the ones who are heard!

So submit! It’s quick and simple. Click on the above links and write about your experiences!

getting rid of family vlog channels one state at a time let's gooo

[Image ID: A tweet by Pop Base (@/PopBase) that reads, "Illinois passes the first US law to protect child influencers and children whose parents post them online. Children under 16 are entitled to a percentage of earnings based on how often they appear on content, with the money going into a trust they can access when they turn 18." /end ID]

For years I would look at posts and questionnaires about neurodivergence that takes about being so focused on something that you forgot to eat and be like, "Couldn't be me. Being hungry is so uncomfortable! Your stomach is growling and cramping? How do you ignore that?"

Then someone informed me that neurotypical people have a whole bunch of "hungry" sensations before they get to that point.....

They what

Yeah, I don't get it either, but apparently this is a Whole Thing.... Like they somehow detect blood sugar dropping and go, "Ooh, time for lil snack!"

See also: there is a feeling of "oh, I need to pee" that happens before "fidgeting around in my seat to finish this thing before running to the bathroom"

I read this and was like, "this can't be real" and then I looked for sources and like--

"This can be very harmful for neurodivergent people, as many neurodivergent people struggle to feel internal cues and bodily sensations, including hunger and fullness. An emphasis on “only eating when hungry” can result in neurodivergent people delaying eating until they are so hungry that they are shaky, highly irritable, or even on the verge of passing out. A focus on “stopping when full” may cause neurodivergent people to overthink every bite they take and scrutinize whether they are truly hungry or truly full. 

To modify Intuitive Eating for neurodivergent people, it may be important to focus on eating enough and eating consistently throughout the day, rather than eating according to one’s hunger and fullness cues. Neurodivergent people may need more of a structured meal and snack schedule than neurotypical folks in recovery, as well as some guidelines around a minimum amount of food. This does not make their eating less intuitive or their recovery less real - it is an important way of honouring their body’s needs and unique ways of functioning."

WHAT??????

Someone in an autism facebook group I'm in just asked "How am I supposed to earn enough to make a living without burning out?"

Someone replied: "You're not. Even neurotypicals can't right now in the system designed for them. We're the canaries in the coalmine. When we start failing, they know something is wrong."

People keep saying, "Oh, everyone thinks they're neurodivergent now!" or they'll say it's the foods or chemicals or whatever other nonsense they've fallen for, but to me the answer is so obvious?

We've gotten to a point that more and more people are being left behind by the system, making it so that neurodivergent parents who could get by fine *enough* in decades/centuries past are bringing children into a world that cannot and will not attempt to accommodate them. There's nothing in the water and people aren't faking, it's just that this is no longer sustainable or livable and of course people with disabilities will be hit first and hit the hardest. There aren't more people with it, it's just harder to go through life without being aware that you're not functioning the way your peers seem to be able to.

Just the other day I was chatting with an older woman about this exact thing. She's retired so she enjoys going on almost-daily walks around her neighborhood and the surrounding neighborhoods. Well she told me that it was really weird that in the newer constructions where the younger families live, EVERYONE has their blinds closed all the time. In fact she can tell a younger family lives in a house based on the simple fact of whether or not their blinds are closed in the middle of a sunny day. It's to the point where she can't even tell if they're even HOME and available for a visit to welcome them to the neighborhood!

When she said that, I realized that I do that too when I live in a more publicly visible apartment. I told her that I think it's because of the internet. Younger people feel like we're constantly being watched, observed, and JUDGED for merely existing. So when we're home, we just want to be alone, unbothered, and unobserved because it's the one place we can control that. She was very surprised to hear that I felt like that and she was VERY concerned for us young folk (and to be honest after talking with her I became pretty concerned too...)

People from her generation will have their blinds open all day, hang out on their front porch, and randomly visit/enjoy random visits from neighbors and strangers. If a stranger knocks on my door it's scary and if they want to stay and chat? It's a huge inconvenience and it feels super awkward and weird and I'm stuck wondering why exactly they're talking to me, when just a few decades ago welcoming someone new to the neighborhood was just what you did! In fact to not do so was rude!

It made me really worried that as the Panopticon sinks its teeth deeper into our psyches, we are losing the very essence of what makes us human and got us this far as a species: community. I find that being on the internet for hours a day tends to almost trick my brain into thinking "I've been social all day, my social need is full" when in reality I've only talked to one, maybe two people I know from my real life all day, and only for short bursts, not REAL conversation.

I find it hard to have the energy to invite friends to hang out, and when I want to I feel like I'm a big inconvenience for asking them to take a break from their busy lives for me (not that they would ever say that's the case, but it's this nagging feeling internally). I feel like while we used to be a series of large islands of local community, our islands splintered apart and started drifting away from each other. Now your island is just you, your immediate family, and maybe a couple close friends. Those living physically closest to you feel like they're miles away and unreachable, to the point where you might as well not even bother.

I guess I just have one question for you: Do you know the names of your next door neighbors?

That makes me think about how the rate of paranoia of being watched must be so much higher now than it used to be and must only be increasing, which is very concerning,,

Because I'm only seeing other Jews posting about this, non-Jews I need you to be aware that for the past month or two there has been a wave of bomb threats and swattings at synagogues all across the US. They usually do it when services are being livestreamed. I haven't seen a single non-Jew talking about this. High holidays are coming up in a few weeks, which is when most attacks happen against our communities. We're worried, and we need people to know what's happening to us.

Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)

Autisticality

This response might read as argumentative, but I honestly just want to start dialogue on this, not criticize OP. This infographic is v informative and I appreciate.

However

As an autistic person, I don't understand the reasoning for using an alternative de-pathologizing term something that is very pathological. PDA has ruined so many things in my life - academic, social, spiritual, personal health, list goes on. I've avoided doing tasks because of the deadlines, even given plenty of advance notice and resources to complete the tasks. I've skipped meals because I was hungry. (I'm not promoting disordered eating in this post, skipping meals is very bad, please don't report thx.) That's why it's called "pathological" in the first place. I will obviously refer to people with whatever terms they prefer, but I like to know why, so if someone could explain the reason for saying "Pervasive Drive for Autonomy" instead of "Pathological Demand Avoidance," I would appreciate it.

I do think that "softening" the demand by making it clear to not be a demand would be helpful for avoiding triggering someone's PDA, but I'd suggest different wording. For many people, allistic as well as autistic, "I'm doing x, you can come if you want" doesn't read as a real invitation. Something more like "I'm doing x, and if you came with me I would enjoy your company, but if you're not feeling it, we could do something else together later" would be more effective at both 1) minimizing PDA risk and 2) making the invitation feel more genuine to the person you're inviting.

Thank you for sharing @my-fandom-needs-me

Flop and Freeze would be considered to be the same thing. But one is the physical response and the other is the emotional response, but it's likely happening at the same time. In autistic people, it may be seen as what's known as "shutdown". If you research the "freeze" response it does include feeling numb, "playing dead", fainting and catatonia, dissociation, etc.